Inches of Red
by kingshultz
Summary: I had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, until I met him. And having him was gaining everything, and having everything to lose.
1. Preface

**Note: The characters belong to the one and only Stephanie Meyer - even though I wish I could own a little bit of Edward. **_  
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**WARNING: Violence, sexual content, and dark themes. **

**Full summary: **_After the death of her parents, Bella Swan moves to another house, in Forks, the city she grew up in and came to hate. She meets a beautiful, arrogant, unbearable member of the family: Edward Cullen. Everything she knows about him resumes in him being a gorgeous asshole, but what happens when she comes to find out he's more than what he looks - and more than a human mind can imagine?_

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_**Preface **_

All the echoing sound coming from the wound in my head was silenced, as if someone had just pressed a mute button.

Everything around me turned into a blur and I felt as if I was slowly falling, again, into unconsciousness, but not before I felt the warmth of arms surrounding me. I forced my eyes to open, just to stare into the face of a stranger, that looked bizarrely familiar. I could only keep my eyes opened for a few seconds, having to narrow them due to the strong brightness irradiating from his face.

God, he was beautiful.

Beautiful didn't even cover, it sounded way too mundane, too inappropriate. His beauty was angelical, divine, something you could't look at without feeling as if you weren't worthy of being gifted with a mere glance. For some reason, looking at him, ignoring the burning in my eyes, I smiled.

But he wasn't smiling, I noticed.

Behind the shiny aura, that surrounded him as some sort of shield, I could see him frowning; his gorgeous, inhuman face twisted in a painful mask. It almost hurt to look at, seeing this perfect creature hold an unhappy expression. I could see, dripping down his chin, a thin line of intense red, not knowing if I had seen it or imagined it. He licked the unknown liquid, almost looking ashamed, and held me tighter. I wanted to look at him for a little longer, but I was so dizzy

- Bella? - he spoke, and his voice sent shivers down my spine. It was familiar. It was too familiar. But why was it familiar?

Before I could answer, his question or mine, everything went black. It was probably my wounded head playing me, but I could have sworn before I swept into sleep, that I saw a blonde haired woman, laying on the ground; her beautiful shiny hair wet with the red liquid that once painted my angel's face.

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**Note: Reviews make me happy, positive or constructive. Especially positive, but you get my point. Thank you for reading. **


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

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_I hated Forks._

I hated the weather, I hated the streets, I even hated the smell of it. Anywhere - any place in the world would be a better place to throw me in than this one. I felt as if I was being a part of an enormous joke, as if the Universe was trying to play some ironic scene and use me as the main character. The circumstances certainly would be fitting.

It had been a month since my parents died, in a fire. One month of hearing condescended words, getting pitiful looks. I couldn't blame other people for feeling sorry for me, I knew they tried to help, and tried to do things with the best of intentions but the last thing someone who lost the one thing they valued the most in their lives needed, was to hear everyone talk about how sorry they were that she didn't have it anymore.

I didn't know what made my family think that one month was time enough to send me out of my home, to another house, full of people I hadn't talked to in more than 6 years - except for the occasional family meetings at events such as Christmas and other things I wasn't as excited about, anymore -, instead of sending me to the house of someone who was closer to my parents. The funny thing was, no one that was "closer to my parents" wanted me in their house. The excuses were that they didn't have enough space, or enough time to dedicate to taking care of me, and other redundant things that resumed into saying "_we don't want a depressed, 15 year old orphan in our home, thank you very much_". So much for a loving family.

The only people that didn't express disgust in welcoming me were friends of my parents - Carlisle and Esme Cullen. It would seem weird to go live with "friends of the family" instead of people I'm related to, except the Cullens were more than just friends. My dad, Charlie, had met Carlisle years ago, when he was a teenager, having him save him from drowning in the lake near his house, and eventually becoming his close friend. Charlie was already friends with Carlisle, when he met Reneé, so they all got pretty close in time, especially when Carlisle finally met the girl he'd come to marry - Esme. They pretty much grew up together, and I knew quite well that if Charlie wanted me to live with anyone but him, it would be the Cullens.

I was okay with it, even though I wasn't jumping around about the whole thing. I didn't really talk to the Cullens, I had only had long conversations with them at Christmas, or Charlie and Reneé's birthdays. Yeah, they were pretty nice people, but I would have to live with them, for God's sake, being nice wasn't necessarily enough.

I knew who lived there, though, since I knew pretty much the entire family - Emmett, the big steroids guy, as I called him, who'd always make fun of me in every single family dinner, Alice, the self-proclaimed "Bella's best friend", who was too small to be so loud, Carlisle and Esme, the perfect parents, Jasper, the quiet, too-much-of-a-gentleman, Rosalie, who I could barely stay in the same room with, due to her self-esteem killer beauty.  
I knew them well enough to know that the stories surrounding them were nothing but stuff made up by people that had no idea what they were talking about. See, the Cullens weren't even an actual family. Sure, they were by heart, but not everyone there was really related. I didn't know everything about it, since I never bothered to ask, but my dad had told me Carlisle and Esme had adopted Emmett and Alice, who were going through some "complications" in life until they were welcomed into the big family. Rosalie and Jasper were actual siblings, and you could notice that by the similarities they held.

Apparently, I was the next orphan, troubled kid to be saved by the Cullen family. Talk about honor.

Next to me, Jacob, my best friend - and only person I could bear talking to in the last few days -, talked to me in the friendly voice that always calmed me, made me forget the tragic scenario I was in.

- No offense, I'm sure they're pretty cool people, but the whole incest thing's just kinda gross to me, y'know? - he told me, as he drove to the Cullen's house. I was glad to take my eyes off the wet streets of the lamest goddamn city in the world.

- You know they're not really related, though. That's just a bunch of stupid rumors.

He laughed and I almost smiled at the sight of his own smile. It was so big, and happy against his tan skin, it reminded me of the sun. And sun was one thing lacking in that place.

- Everything's so dark in here. - matches my soul, I completed mentally, in a failed attempt to make a self-deprecating joke.

- Well, it is Forks. You act as if you've never been here before, I mean, come on. It's not so bad once you get used to it.

- Yes, it is. - I replied, stubbornly.

Jake rolled his eyes, looking away from the road to look at me, and say sarcastically:

- 'Cause you've never lived here before, huh?

I rolled my eyes but looked away, at the wet road. That was a friendly reminded I didn't need to have.

- It's different.

- No, it's not, Bells. You lived most of your life here. You were in Phoenix for what, 6 years? Forks is your real home. And it's also where we met.

He got a point there. Jake had been the first friend I made in kindergarten, and we had met in Forks - even though he lived in the La Push reservation, he still studied at my school, at least for a little while.

- One good thing out of living here, then. 5 points for you, Jake.

I expected him to laugh, but he didn't. It took me a little while to look at him, trying to see if there was something wrong, since he had, out of nowhere, gotten so quiet.

- What's up? - I asked him, attempting to sound casual. He shook his head weakly.

- Are you okay, Bella? - he asked me, and I frowned. It seemed strange that he'd ask me that now, especially when I was behaving completely normally with him. But then again, Jake knew me a little too well.

- Yeah. - I replied, dishonest. "Of course not," I wanted to scream "I can't fucking breath in this stupid city and my parents died, of course I'm not fucking okay., but I just remained quiet.

- You know what's going on here, Bells. It's been a month already and you didn't even cry.

- Do you wanna see me cry or something?

- You know that's not what I mean. I'm saying no one can lose their parents and still act like they're okay.

- I'm not acting like I'm okay. I'm just not breaking down in front of everyone. No one needs to pity me even more, Jacob.

But he was right. I hated that he was right, but he was, he always was. I didn't cry. I didn't cry when my aunt walked into my room, dropping everything on her way, and taking me in her arms, while she told me what happened, the nicest way she could, in her state of desperation. I didn't cry at the funeral, when everyone was making deep speeches, and placing roses on the tombstones. I didn't cry when I got home, and didn't find my mom holding a cake and telling me "happy birthday". I didn't cry every birthday I had, when my cousins and aunts tried holding cakes in front of me, and congratulating me on my aging. I didn't cry, but I could see how hard they were trying not to. How sorry they were to look at the girl who's parents died on the day of her birthday.

- I'm just saying, Bells. Sometimes it's good to just let it all out.

I didn't say anything, but I agreed he was right. It was probably better. Maybe crying would help take away the gigantic hole in my chest, that seemed to open wide every time I tried to sleep. Or eat. Or breathe.

I felt the car stop, and I frowned lightly, looking down at my hands. I wasn't shaking, but I was sure a little more pale than I should have been.  
Jake bit down his lip, a habit that was too much like my own, and looked at me, grabbing my hand. His warmth made me calmer, and I stared at his hand, the tan skin contrasting with the pale one. I frowned a little bit, jealous. Why did he have to own such a beautiful color, and I had to look like a wandering ghost?

- You ready?

I pondered the answer for a few seconds, actually stopping to think if I was. The answer was very much clear in my head, but I realized there wasn't much of a difference. I wasn't ready then, and I surely wasn't gonna be later. So why not just put that aside, and pretend I was?

- Yeah. - I said, and my voice sounded more secure than I felt. Jake nodded, and let go of my hand, walking out to open my door. I looked up at the house, for the first time, and couldn't help but notice how modern it looked, with glass doors and windows, and a green, well taken care of garden. It was the first time, I realized, that I had seen the Cullen's house. And yeah, I had to admit it, it was pretty fucking beautiful.

- They're very… Good at picking details, I guess. - Jake said to me, when I got out of the car. I nodded, with nothing else to say, but didn't make any gesture that suggested I would move. I felt his hand slip to mine and press it gently, as if to tell me he was there for me. It was a simple action, but it made a lot of my nerves cool down. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the warmth of his hand, and when I opened them, I said, more to myself than to him:

- Ready.

If I was lying when I said it, I didn't know, but I knew even if I was, I believed it. Or at least tried to.

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**Note: Reviews make me happy, positive or constructive. Especially positive, but you get my point. Thank you for reading.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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_Holding Charlie's big hand on one side and Reneé's hand on the other, I wore a big smile. By the door, I could see Uncle Carlisle, holding his usual friendly smile, all blue eyed and blonde the way he was. My parents let go of my hands, just to let me run to him, who grabbed my small body and held me in the air, causing me to giggle loudly. _

_- Bella! - he said, placing me on his shoulder. "So grown, already?"_

_My smile became bigger and I held up seven fingers, speaking proudly in my boyish voice:_

_- I'm old like you! _

_On the other side of the room, Charlie laughed, and Renée offered a shy, small smile. At the time, I hadn't wondered why she looked so cautious all of the sudden or why she'd glance at the window from time to time, as if to find something or someone. Or why every time she did, her body would be taken slightly by shivers, and her face would twist into a mask of fear, even if just for a little while. Charlie looked down at her, frowning and pulling her closer to him, bending down to whisper something in her ear. She stared at the window for a few more seconds before finally looking up at him and smiling gently, as she shook her head. _

_So young and free of any sort of worries, the young Bella couldn't, if she tried, notice how much that smile wasn't genuine._

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No one was so well conserved. No one, these things just weren't possible.

It had been more than 4 years since I've had a visit by the Cullens, and even though it had been a long time, it wasn't long enough for me to forget what they looked like. And fuck me if I'm wrong, but if the entire family looked like Esme, they looked just like they looked before, if that was possible.

As soon as I got out of the car, my hand being held by Jake, Esme burst out of the door. I tried analyzing her face, to see if there was anything about it that was different from the face I knew previously, just to catch myself frowning after noticing there was nothing the slightest bit modified by time.

She still owned the same dimples on her cheeks, and the same wide smile, the kind that welcomes you and makes you feel like home.

_Or at least used to._

Her pale white, heart-shaped face was surrounded by perfectly dark hair, to her shoulders. Everything was the same from what I could remember, except her eyes were no longer caramel colored, but a darker shade of brown I assumed was effect of age. I mean, _something_ had to be.

- Bella! - she spoke, and her voice, even being the same voice I've gotten used to, had a slightly different tone to it. I raised my eyebrows, and tried to work a smile, which I'm pretty sure only made me look like I was making a face.

Esme walked up to me and took me in her arms, — in an awkward hug since Jake hadn't let go of my hand - murmuring a warm, quiet "_welcome, sweetheart_" in my ear. I nodded, without saying much. She pulled away to look me in the eye, and offer me a small smile. I had seen that smile before, on a lot of people, and it was usually followed by "I'm so sorry", "I know it must be hard." or other pitiful things I was tired of hearing.

Except she didn't say any of these things, only pressed my shoulder lightly. I made a mental note to thank her later for that.

- You must be... - she started, unsure, looking at Jacob, who held my hand so tightly it was starting to turn red.

- That's Jake. Jacob. You know him. My best friend and stuff. He's just... A little bit bigger now. - I said dryly, which wasn't necessarily my intention but my throat felt as if I hadn't spoken for ages and it was hard to fake an enthusiastic tone.

Esme nodded, smiling at him, and offering her hand. I almost let out a relieved sigh when he let go of mine to shake hers, it was starting to tingle.

- It's a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Cullen. - he told her and I almost laughed at how formal he sounded. It was so unlike him.

- Oh, please, call me Esme. - she answered, glancing at me and raising her dark eyebrows. "Mrs. Cullen makes me sound old, doesn't it?"

Unsure of what to say, I only smiled. Old didn't fit her looks, that was for sure.

After an awkward moment of silence, Jake placed his hands on my back, giving me a small push to then stare at me shyly. I raised my eyebrows at him.

- I, uh. I'll leave you to it. - he said, and after a moment of looking at me, he nodded to himself and took me in his arms. The warmth was the first thing I registered - and then the lack of air.

- You're choking me. - I said, to him, softly, and he let go of me, laughing quietly. I smiled back, knowing that I'd miss having this feeling of comfort, feeling that made me, even if for a few seconds, forget the pain and everything it implied. I avoided thinking of goodbyes all the way through to the house, but now I was gonna have to face it.

- I'm gonna miss you, Jake. - I told him, honestly, and he tilted his head to the side a little bit, reminding me of a lost puppy. He wore his best smile, and nodded, but I could see he was holding back from sentimental gestures. I could understand it, so was I.

- If you need me, just call me and I'll come running. - he assured me and I knew he meant it. If there was someone who wouldn't leave me when I was in times of need, that was Jake. He had proven that millions of times. I tried finding the words to thank him, but I couldn't decide on any, so I just gave him a last smile, before turning to the house, with Esme.

A little while after walking in, I heard a car noise, telling me Jake was already gone. But I barely payed attention to that, for I was too distracted by the _monument_ I was in.

If the house was beautiful from the outside, it was perfection from the inside.

The walls were painted in white, and pastel, which contrasted perfectly, making the whole interior seem lightened and alive. The doors, and windows were made out of glass, as I had noticed when I first got there, and they gave, from the inside, a great view to the green garden outside the house. On the other side of the living room, there was a black piano, and it seemed so clean and so untouched I wondered for how long they've had it.

Everything about the house was clean and, if not flawless, really damn close to it. It even smelled good.

It had a nice smell of new furniture, and air conditioner, and...

- BELLA! - the loud, pixie-like, too familiar voice ripped through my starstruck atmosphere, causing me to widen my eyes. Before I could even register what was going on, Alice's tiny body smashed against mine, making me stumble backwards.

She was way stronger than I could remember, that was for sure.

- Oh. Hey, Alice. - I said, moving uncomfortably. God, when did that girl get so strong?

- I missed you so much. I'm glad you're moving in with us, even though, you know... - she made a random gesture with her hands, that I didn't pretend to understand. She immediately made a face, and I bit down on my lower lip, trying not to let out my temper on her — I knew she meant it with the best of intentions. Didn't everyone?

As to push the thought away, she shook her head lightly and looked up at me, her face out of nowhere lighting up with a smile. I assumed she was good with picking the positive side. I wished for a second that I shared the same skills.

- Anyway, I assumed since it's your first day here and stuff — I mean, I know you've lived here for like , years but, still, since it's kind of your first day I assumed I could take you shopping or something, while Carlisle and the others tried getting your room ready. Which reminds me that we didn't have time to get you an _actual _room so you'll be in Ed...

- Let the girl breath, Al. - A strong, manly voice came from upstairs, interrupting her speech and both Alice and I looked up to see who it was.

Nothing less than the steroids guy, except he was even bigger than he was when I first met him, if that was humanly possible. I couldn't help but stare at the developed muscles of his arms, and I swear you could see his six pack, against the tee-shirt.

- Em! Come say hi to Bella! - Alice spoke so happily and excitedly, it almost made me want to cringe. He walked up to us, bringing the shadow of his strong body along the way, darkening the carpet and finally stood in front of me. I waited for him to make one of his usual jokes.

But he didn't.

He only looked at me for a second, and pressed his lips together. And I hated that look. With everything I had.

It was a look of _pity._

_- _I'm really sorry about... What happened, Bella. - he said, quietly, and I couldn't help but frown at the way he sounded. It wasn't the Emmett I was used to, even though he looked the same, except for being bigger. It was a big guy trying not to say anything offensive to a little girl. A little fucked-up, orphan girl.

- Don't mention it. - I said, knowing I had sounded ruder than I intended to. But it wasn't my fault, it was the millionth time I've heard people say that, and it made me want to scream at them that they didn't _feel _anything because it wasn't their parents who weren't ever coming home again. It pissed me off, and if possible, made the void in my chest seem bigger. Couldn't they see that?

- But it's a good thing you're here, with us. I'm gonna be able to see you falling more often. - he told me and his "Emmett-voice" was back, which almost made me sigh, in relief. I shook my head.

- I'm not as clumsy as I was when I was nine, Emmett.

He narrowed his eyes a bit, a mischievous smile on his face as he said "We'll see about that."

- It's good that you're here, though - Alice told him, longing the "o" in good. "I was just telling Bella about, you know, her _room._"

Emmett opened his mouth, and closed it, looking down at the pixie as if he had just understood something. Something I wasn't getting.

- Right. - he, then, looked back at me. "You should probably go shopping with Alice, your clothes look too Phoenix-like for this city.", he told me jokingly. I looked down at my clothes, insulted. He was, in a way, correct. I wore a thin, blue, sleeves-less tee-shirt — I had already began feeling cold as soon as I got out of the car but I figured it was just me being nervous — and dark skinny jeans, with pale ballet-looking sneakers.

- What time does _he _get home? - Alice asked Emmett, sounding a little too serious. He shrugged.

- As soon as he's done with whoever he's with.

- Did you talk to him?

Emmett made a face. "Not yet."

I frowned, looking at Alice, confused, but she only smiled at me, and took my hand. "Let's go — it's been years since you've put foot here, you need to see the news stores."

- I still haven't unpacked... - I began saying, but Alice had already pulled me out of the house, causing me to almost trip and fall, and consequently giving Emmett a good laugh.

- What's all that talk you two were having earlier? - I asked her, when she threw me inside a red convertible, that I thought was a little too extravagant for a city like that, but still beautiful. I loved cars, something I had taken from my dad, and I surely wasn't gonna ignore the beauty I was in. No pun intended.

- Oh, it was nothing. - she said, moving her hand in the air to give emphases. "Just, we didn't have time to get your room... Ready, per-say so you're gonna stay in another one, temporarily."

- _Another room? _- I asked, incredulously. So what, now I was gonna have a roommate?

- It's just for a little while. You won't even notice.

- Who will I share it with?

Alice burst out laughing, so loud I cringed.

- I'm glad you think I'm funny. - I told her, widening my eyes at how she couldn't stop laughing.

- Bella, dear, you won't be _sharing _the room. God forbid you do so!

I raised my eyebrows, questionably.

- Oh, you'll see, you'll see. Anyway, you seem fine.

I couldn't help but laugh dryly at her statement. Sure, I seemed perfect.

- That's not what I mean - she tried correcting herself quickly, sounding embarrassed. I spared myself having to tell her it was "okay" again. "I mean, you look good. Like, you know, appearance. Like, hair. And stuff. You know?"

- Yeah, Alice.

- Oh, good, okay.

An awkward moment of silence followed, until I started feeling uncomfortable. Silence usually gave me time to think, and my thoughts would go to unpleasant places that I didn't wanna visit. So I avoided it.

- Where's Jasper and Rosalie, anyway?

- Oh - Alice said, sounding glad that I had broken the silence. It surely seemed to me weird that she hadn't tried starting another subject, it wasn't like Alice to stay quiet for more than 3 seconds. "Well, Rose is in a trip right now, she got a job as a model." _What a fucking surprise_, I thought to myself, sarcastically. Rosalie: 1, self esteem: - 0.

- And Jazz's here, but he was busy buying furniture for your room when you arrived.

- Excuse me?

She looked at me, widening her eyes. "Oh, no, don't worry, I made a list of things he would have to buy. I wouldn't let you sleep in a _man_'s room, no, gross." she told me, and then, as if she quickly remembered something, added: "I mean, unless it was temporary, and stuff, then that's fine."

- What are you even talking about? - I asked her, ignoring the anger that took me from having the Cullens buy me things. I wasn't a charity project, for God's sake. I didn't need that.

- Nothing, nothing, ignore me. Oh, look, we're here! - she yelled, and I cringed, again. I figured her yelling would be something I'd have to get used to. She got out of the car, gracefully and opened the door for me. I said nothing about it, getting out to join her. In front of us, there was a small store, with glass windows and golden letters that said "_The Border Place"_. It was small, but judging by the exposed clothes, I could see it was expensive.

By the clothes and by the fact that Alice shopped there.

She walked me to the inside of the store, and there were around four or five people shopping in there. It looked bigger than it did when I saw it from the outside, and it looked even more expensive from the inside.

The store was surrounded by white walls, and golden dummies, dressed up with fancy clothes. I wondered what the hell she wanted me to buy there — it all looked too formal for this city. I figured the best clothes to wear in Forks were something that matched the melancholic, cold, too-green look and feel that it had and gave.

- How may I help you girls? - a tall, redheaded lady asked us. She wore some sort of dark green suit, which made me laugh, because, after all, it did match the too-green look of Forks, after all. On top of her suit, she had a name badge that said "Lily Williams". Alice spoke to her, excitedly.

- What do you have that's sexy, kind of edgy, but still classy? For her. - she said, pointing at me. I widened my eyes, looking at her.

_Sexy? Kind of edgy?_

That was gonna be a long day.

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**How's that for chapter 2? Let's wait for things to start getting exciting. Which should happen prettyyyy soon. **

**Reminder that The Border Place is a made up store.**

**Note: Reviews make me happy, positive or constructive. Especially positive, but you get my point. Thank you for reading.**


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